Once upon a time there was a man with no arms Who was being chased…
Michael Brendan Hanmore
South of the river St Joseph’s Club
Hid between houses maisonettes towers of dub
Hemmed in by flyovers arterial roads industrial hub
Licensed to sell intoxicants to Tommy Wass and Peggy Tub
The scene is set for a gathering of the Hunslet old Boys
Lapsed Catholic bruddahood related by blood
To reflect pay respect acknowledge the death of a matriarch
Pure in heart lest we forget
She was light gave life to formless shapes
Universal love did advocate
Showered affection upon gormless reprobates
Courage quiet dignity cruel twists of fate
Tried condemned merciful end
Shook a seven ascended into heaven
It wasn’t the cough that carried her off
It was the coffin they carried her off in
His sister my mother
I pulled up a chair and sat before the other
Face to face with Dionysus
No handshake nor greeting kiss
Fragile peace perchance to speak rewrite history say our piece
Zeitgeist spirit of the times midsummer 2007
This is how it feels to be lonely
Hedonist 40 years on the piss
A heaving scuzzy mass of seething masculinity
Drowning in potions of cider and ice
Shaking like a shiting dog before my very eyes
Demon drink Lily the Pink working class nemesis
Addiction physical dereliction
A shadow of the man John Patrick and I once idolised
A drunkard man is a mad man
The lunatic has taken over the asylum
Hooded youth to the left of me ugly brutes to the right
Here I am stuck in the middle with you
Relax stay cool when in Rome do as they do
Patches I’m depending on you son to pull the family through
Puzzle enigma mystery
He was my role model eleven harsh winters the elder of me
Could mimic WC Fields convincingly
Persistence of memory Les Dawson Dick Emery
Reflections on the way life used to be
When I was a boy this man was king followed his example verbatim
Male chauvinist pig perverted by language
Hey fatty bum bum sweet sugar dumpling
Faith of our fathers living still
Speak when spoken to answer when called
On a need to know basis they wont tell us sod all
Morphic resonance genetic inheritance throw one in the mix
I got my own guilt trip to live with and he got his
To be a good man is a discipline
Mythical status worshipped adored
He has forgotten more then we know
Never walk on quicksand don’t eat yellow snow
Introduced scrabble and chess the Mandelbrot set
World of Sport shock and awe
To mindless automatons straight out of Whinmoor
Got well peeved when our kid spelled down the word quaver
On a triple word score
Back then he was Mikie life and soul of the party
Before Micko his pikey alter ego
Got a grip took a hold
Waited on spoiled rotten an ungrateful son of a gun
A total waste of space if ever there was one
Mother Mary’s proverbial pain in the bum
Threw away the best bits kept the ectoplasm
An angry young adult an accident waiting to happen
Known to promote negative agendas
Prone to bellicose outbursts of withering sarcasm after all day benders
World in Action Play for Today
Never met a cockney that didn’t know the Krays
Watching TV fiddling with dials trying to find the Rockford Files
All the whilst eating scran from a plate on a tray
Man Alive I will Survive please thyself the order of the day
The earth’s a big blue marble when you see it from out there
Brandy and port too easily bored
The best footballer I never saw play
Hung up his boots aged n n n n nineteen to concentrate on ale
Fatally flawed My Sweet Lord couldn’t be arsed to pick up a guitar
Strike a chord from Ibiza to the Norfolk Broads
Bad mazzle on the razzle
Up the shirkers down with recession
Dashing out for a full on boozy schmoozy session
In the tap room of the Grey Goose public house free admission
To meet Arch and Stan Charlie Chan Flash in the Pan
Checking out Jethro Tull Yusaf Islam
Beer and fags Oxford Bags high heel shoes low neck sweater
Life is a shit sandwich the more bread the better
Time flies memories light the corners of my mind
Some bizzare I went to the bar pulled myself to one side
How did high and mighty meet such demise
The barmaid momentarily derailed my train of thought asked me what I’d like
Can I get a witness a voice for those that have no voice I wearily enquired
There are no answers only choices verily she replied
But just to make it interesting we’ll have a shilling on the side
Jump to the beat the lion speaks
I returned to my seat
Double diamond works wonders
For umpalumpas in aran wool jumpers
That clumsily spill frothing pints of pain relief over leopard skin sneakers
Drenching the charcoal odor eaters of dodgy looking geezers
I really love your Tiger Feet
Our conversation was short and bleak
Endless cycles of despair destined to repeat
Beyond repair a culture immersed in alcohol vitriol cannibal ritual
If it’s good enough for Jesus Christ then it’s good enough for me
Feels like I’m just a dream in the mind of some deity
It’s in my nature to be cynical
Accident of birth Who Wants The World
He could’ve been the rogue classicist
That unravelled the Voynich manuscript if circumstances were different
I don’t consider myself superior to him in any sense
Diss the bigots not the victims
Live in the past die in the past
Nothing endures like the human condition
Too late baby now its too late
Open up the floodgates perish under waves
A new storm is looming
Uncle Dysfunktional drinks himself an early grave
A wise man has the power to reason away
It’s a greek tragedy a family affair
We prodigal sons with nothing left to say
Go on then cho fuck off he cried in despair
And I would rather be anywhere else than here today
I said goodbye to Katie Jo hoped that she take care
As I turned to leave felt deflated disconfigurated
For the future scared
Choked provoked crisis mode
Never meet your idol nothing queerer than folk
Found my way outside had a smoke
Somebody spoke and I went into a dream
Once again the power of the herb open up the mind
A single leaf not yellow without the knowledge of the tree
Nostalgia aint what it used to be
I’m finished with the past but it aint done with me
All is not good in da hood
The mighty have fallen the city is gone
Two vast trunkless legs stand on the site of this forgotten Babylon
Where Colossus once stood
End of days these remain
Faith hope tough love
Fenian scum our day has come
Barbarians run amok in our dominion
The famine is over nothing left of the farm
Mere words are unnecessary they can only do harm